February 2012
14 posts
first morning in cali.
woke up this morning & called home to just let my parents know i arrived safely… it was a typical phone call just letting my mother & father know everything is good so that they don’t have to worry as parents are prone to do… as i was about to end my conversation, my father says, “you know your dad loves you, right?”… of course i knew, but for the first...
heaviness.
sometimes out of nowhere i find myself running into a wall…
there is no explanation as to what it is or even why.
in a moment, joy, peace, & hope become so foreign.
expectations that things will turn around get hijacked.
clouds of darkness hang over my head.
heaviness embraces me… covers me… and won’t let go.
hurts, pains, bitterness, & sadness start to bubble...
fire of God.
fire from a distance is warm & cozy.
yet the closer we get, the more uncomfortable it is.
it soon becomes painful to get any closer.
to actually be set on fire means death…
for fire doesn’t fall on empty sacrifice.
though it costs me everything, set me ablaze for Your Kingdom.
i long to burn.
to be consumed.
to be a burning one.
an unquenchable fire that rages until You...
to love God.
suffering refines and purifies our love for God.
to love God for who He is in Himself alone only comes about by suffering.
when we go through pain, we often ask “why”
yet in order to really love Him is to continually serve Him without getting that answer.
if we knew why, we would only endure in order to get the results…
yet God wants “free” lovers… people...
decade.
until what he had said came to pass, the word of the Lord tested him. - psalm 105:19
i’ve been tempted many times to quit & throw in the towel.
i’ve questioned the calling. i’ve questioned the faith. i’ve questioned myself…
i’ve lost friends, dreams, and hope on the battlefield of faith.
i’ve faced heartaches, suffering, pain, and many...
“I’ve never quit loving you and never will. Expect love, love, and more...”
– Jeremiah 31:3 // The Message
the cynic.
broken promises
aborted dreams
and a wounded heart…
all left untreated has turned me into a cynic.
i want to love well.
i want to love like You do.
to love myself, to love my family, to love my friends
to love others, to love enemies, to love all.
and above all to love You.
but all i have is a crippled form of love.
heal me.
change me.
don’t leave me here alone…
...
sackcloth & ashes.
leonard ravenhill was truly one of the greatest men of God. he was an anointed preacher, fiery intercessor, and revivalist who was used mightily by God in the 20th century.
in the last years of his life, he received request after request from pastors and seminary students who wanted to see and spend time with him. they wanted ravenhill to pray a prayer of blessing and impartation. they eagerly...
psalm 13
how long, LORD? will you forget me forever? how long will You hide Your face from me?
how long must i wrestle with my thoughts and day after day have sorrow in my heart? how long will my enemy triumph over me?
look on me and answer, LORD, my God. give light to my eyes, or i will sleep in death,
and my enemy will say, “i have overcome him,” and my foes will rejoice when i fall.
but...
one day...
there are so many things i would love to do… and i honestly can’t wait :)
one day, i would love to lead a small group of some kind with my wife. it doesn’t necessarily have to be a couples’ small group, but i just think it would be awesome to minister and build community together this way. i really want to be able to learn how to work as a husband & wife team and just...
January 2012
13 posts
the greatest gift.
it’s been over a month, but i remember my last birthday so clearly as if it was yesterday… it was just like any other day to be honest. once my parents were home, we had dinner together. we already had a big celebration couple days earlier with my extended family, so it was nice to just be at home with mom and dad. unfortunately, i ended up dislocating my shoulder during that big...
walking with a limp.
sometimes you just have to wrestle with God.
there is no escaping it.
most of the time, God cuts us deep in the midst of the scuffle.
He does a deeper work in us.
deeper than what we think is possible.
deeper than what is comfortable.
simply put, “deeper” is painful…
the result of wrestling with God isn’t always pretty either.
the result isn’t a win.
...
the main course.
it’s all about the presence of God. He is the main event. it’s all about Him… all that matters is that He shows up. i’ve come to realize that God and His presence alone are the appetizer, the main course, and the desert. anything i can do is irrelevant. i am just a grain of salt in the salt shaker that is on the table. but it’s not even needed because all the food is...
cope.
the human mind and heart are funny… and deceptive.
whenever pain or discomfort arises, humans naturally try to just cope.
in our effortless pursuit to “feel better”, we end up clinging and striving…
no wonder we live in a country of addicts.
addicted to relationships. drugs. gambling. working. religion. etc.
we find ourselves just trying to plug up the emptiness.
good...
celebrate.
what a tremendous honor it was to have been the inaugural speaker for the ministry’s first retreat ever. God, being used by You never gets old! i’m blown away every single time. You come and do what You do best. You show up and i just get to join You for the ride. what a privilege it is, and one i will never take for granted… i celebrate You and Your presence. thank You, thank...
school of brokenness.
“God has a university. it’s a small school. few enroll; even fewer graduate. very, very few indeed.
God has this school because He does not have broken men and women… He has people who claim to have God’s authority… and don’t - people who claim to be broken… and aren’t. and people who do have God’s authority, but who are mad and unbroken. and...
pain.
the common denominator for everyone is pain.
whether it is big or small, old or recent, pain is something we all have experienced.
and because we have all been hurt, we are all in need of healing.
healing comes as we say “yes” to the Lord.
healing comes as we let Him enter into our pain.
the toughest place to be sometimes is under the light on the operating table.
it can get...
legacy.
there is no other option but to intentionally live a life of integrity, character, & honor. it’s not about perfection or performance, but living transparently and honoring others. i live my life this way not just for me & my present, but more so for my future, my children, and their children (and on & on…). i want to pass onto them a legacy on what it means to live for...
power of a praying mother.
while my mom was pregnant with me in korea, the only form of transportation she had was the bus. whenever she rode on the bus, she would listen to praise or worship music. each time as she listened, she would pray that God would make me into a man filled with praise. that she would be blessed with a child who would love to sing unto the Lord and live a life of worship.
now fast forward 26...
door of hope.
therefore I am now going to allure her; i will lead her into the wilderness and speak tenderly to her.
there I will give her back her vineyards, and i will make the Valley of Achor (trouble) a door of hope. there she will respond as in the days of her youth, as in the day she came up out of Egypt.
“in that day,” declares the LORD, “you will call me ‘my husband’;...
December 2011
18 posts
God's pleasure.
in the midst of the pain & suffering
the grief. the brokenness. the sorrows.
i am overwhelmed by God’s pleasure.
not in what i do.
not in my circumstances.
but simply in me.
He is so pleased with just me.
as i’m at my lowest, He isn’t so much comforting me or weeping with me.
He is just singing & dancing over me.
He is shouting that i am His beloved.
my question...
merry christmas '11!
it’s been a funny xmas…
one to remember though.
however the day still isn’t over yet…
—-
merry christmas to all!
“the kingdom of my Father cannot be overcome, even by death. in the end...”
– Ragamuffin Gospel.
time to live.
the stone has been rolled.
it’s time…
time to rise up
to step out
to shed the grave clothes
to embrace life.
it’s time to live.
amen.
“What makes authentic disciples is not visions, ecstasies, biblical mastery of...”
– Brennan Manning
twenty-six.
this past year was a year of breaking.
may this upcoming year be one of forming & building.
amen.
costly.
there is a price to pay to do the will of God.
it is extremely costly.
above and beyond what we could imagine.
Jesus demands our security. our comfort. our loved ones. our lives.
our everything…
His words to the disciples are deep and uncompromising.
to risk beyond what we even think is possible.
to love Him above all else
so that even our love for our family & friends looks...
“Christians who live out of who they really are cannot be crippled by the...”
– Bill Johnson
November 2011
9 posts
Jesus alone.
it’s not about “Jesus and…”
or anything else in addition to Him
it’s just Jesus.
and Him alone.
He’s all i have.
He’a all i need.
forever.
perspective.
whenever the temptation comes to be angry
to complain about unfairness
to accuse and point fingers…
simply take eyes off of self.
perspective.
then in honesty, allow God to come.
broken places.
God sees.
God weeps.
God heals.
He is good.
He is faithful.
amen.
surrender.
nothing abraham did made him loved or chosen by God.
even through all of his failures and flaws, God was faithful & His promises remained true.
yet God still asked abraham to sacrifice his only son, isaac.
it must have been torturous & a tremendous internal battle, but abraham surrendered.
as abraham laid down his son & was about to sacrifice him, God intervened.
in that moment,...
