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alternate universe.

sometimes i don’t know how to describe the last 2 years of my life…

so much has happened… good & bad.

all the days seem to blur into one another.

memories crashing into each other.

unable to define what is what & which is which.

yet i remember every detail as if it’s part of the same day.

like it’s still part of today.

yea, that’s it…

it kind of feels like the last 2 years have been just one long day.

like i’m floating around in an alternate universe.

how does 2 years feel like it was only yesterday & a lifetime ago

all at the same time?

how did i end up here?

where am i?

where am i going?

is it time to wake up yet?…

my car.

today on thanksgiving my father & i washed my car together… my car is an older car on its last legs w/ over 200k miles… it has given me so many headaches through the years. but i’ve come to finally appreciate it.

it’s not the nicest car, which is an understatement. it’s pretty banged up. and it sure is a gas guzzler, but it’s what i have. how often i’ve complained about this car, but it’s the best i can do for now. i know if my father could, he would get me the best car in the world, but this is our means. and i’m thankful.

i’m thankful b/c my car makes me appreciate what i have. in a world that values possessions & where materialism reigns, to drive my car honestly makes me humble. i would love to have a newer, nicer car, but it’s okay. i love it b/c it teaches me humility. it reminds me that there are still those who are worse off than me.

so when one day when i am blessed to have a nice car of my own, i will own it w/o it owning me.

thankful.

—-

(found this in my unpublished drafts on my blog today…)

Resting in God—abiding in his presence—is the only way we can be successful in what he has called us to do… Fruitfulness happens in stages and seasons: abide, grow, bear fruit, prune, abide… An apple tree, for instance, does not bear fruit for three years. Grape vines are pruned back and forced not to bear fruit for two to three years so that their root systems can be established… Growth must happen before fruit is produced. And growth comes from knowing how to abide… At the time of Jesus’ incarnation, a vine would be cultivated, planted, and left to grow for three years before being allowed to bear fruit. Every time it tried to bring forth a bunch of grapes, it would be cut back. After the third year, the grapes would be allowed to grow on their own. By then the branches were strong enough to support the weight of the grapes without breaking. After the harvest, the branches were pruned back for a time of nourishment and rest before the fruit-growing season began again… Left to its own plans, it would continue to grow, increasing in size but decreasing in strength, endurance, and health until it would be unable to hold the fruit it is intended to bear… From abiding we grow, from growing we bear fruit, from bearing fruit we are cut back.
Building a Discipling Culture - Mike Breen

predictable.

all you need to know is someone’s character…

once you get even a glimpse,

that person becomes so predictable.

simply put,

no one outruns or outperforms their own character.

it’s funny to see people react just the way you knew they would.

or maybe it’s tragic?

either way,

it’s all about… character. always.

so the adulterous woman, forgiven, bathes Jesus’ feet with her kisses, her perfume, and her tears - her extravagant giving is the response to His even more extravagant forgiving.
the call - os guinness

to walk.

we all long to walk on water… the impossible. the amazing.

the moments of grace, power, & victory.

but before He asks us to walk on water,

He asks us to walk away from it all & follow Him…

He calls us to walk through the valley.

to walk upon the sand of the deserts

before the waves of the waters.

keep on walking though… for He walks with you.

amen.

aren’t you something to admire,
cause your shine is something like a mirror
and i can’t help but notice, you reflect in this heart of mine
if you ever feel alone & the glare makes me hard to find
just know that i’m always parallel on the other side

cause with your hand in my hand & a pocket full of soul
i can tell you there’s no place we couldn’t go
just put your hand on the glass, i’ll be trying to pull you through
you just gotta be strong

cause i don’t wanna lose you now
i’m lookin’ right at the other half of me
the vacancy that sat in my heart
is a space that now you hold
show me how to fight for now
and i’ll tell you baby, it was easy
comin’ back into you once i figured it out
you were right here all along
it’s like you’re my mirror
my mirror staring back at me
i couldn’t get any bigger
with anyone else beside of me
and now it’s clear as this promise
that we’re making two reflections into one
cause it’s like you you’re my mirror
my mirror staring back at me, staring back at me…

yesterday is history
tomorrow’s a mystery
i can see you lookin’ back at me
keep your eyes on me
baby, keep your eyes on me

…so now i say goodbye to the old me, it’s already gone

no wound, no scar?
yet, as the Master shall the servant be,
and, pierced are the feet that follow Me;
but thine are whole: can he have followed far
who has no wound, no scar?
Amy Carmichael (missionary to India)
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